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TW: Talks of Depression, Hopelessness, etc.

Hey.

It's been a year.

Sorry about that.

I'm gonna split this up into a few sections, for easy readability

Where'd you go?

Unfortunately, I had to work to support myself for a bit, before I crashed out again.

As usual.

Took a few months to recover from burnout, but God am I tired.

The more I exist, the more I realise I'm "too disabled" for this world. I don't even like that phrase, but it's something that keeps coming up.

People don't even think I'm disabled either! I guess that's what happens when I'm high masking. And the disabilities I do have aren't quickly noticable.

Will you come back?

I'm cautious about coming back online.

I do this sometimes - get so burnt out that I push everyone away.

I also feel like it's hard to exist to any capacity. I feel like I don't deserve the attention, or to be acknowledged. I feel like I'm a pretty bog standard - or lowkey awful person.

but I care so much about the world. I wish there is something I can do to help. But I don't think I'm the right person to help anyone.

So what now?

The world has changed in a year.

At this point, I think my career is a pipe dream - simply because all the positions are nonexistant (replaced with AI) or require to use AI to some compacity.

I'm tired of having a moral compass. But I think everyone else feels the same.

So I'll keep chugging along, possibly posting things on the side. Hopefully my random blurbs help someone.

I'll keep learning and growing, despite it all. Because of it all.

I need to keep existing. Because the world we live in wants people like me dead.

So I need to tell the world to fuck off.

I need to tell people like me that we deserve space to exist.

So please, keep existing.